Introducing FuttBux - Do Nothing, Get Paid

Everyone's Getting Paid. Except You.

Have you ever found yourself lazing on the couch, scooping down your favourite ice cream while thinking "the only thing that could make this better is if I was getting paid for it"? Well, after years in the lab and thousands of couch-lounging sessions, we've finally figured out how to do just that.

Introducing FuttBux ($FBUX) - a revolutionary digital currency that you earn by NOT using Windscribe. Our CEO Geoff Pesos even emerged from his private sensory deprivation yacht to announce FuttBux to the world.

How does it work? Great question. Each FuttBux token is generated inside a decommissioned Soviet calculator that we bought off a guy named Dimitri at a flea market. Don't ask how it makes tokens, we're not sure either but Dimitri said he had a PhD. We didn't verify this but he had a firm handshake so we trust him.

Our proprietary Null Activity Oracle (NAO) monitors your account 24/7 waiting for any Measured Abstention Events (MAE) to generate Proof-of-Non-Consumption (PoNC). You are then awarded FuttBux tokens which get processed in our new Taintchain Lazy Ledger.

Listen, all the details are in our brownpaper if you want to nerd out. The point is: you do nothing, you get paid. If you do something, you get paid less. This is the first financial system that actively punishes productivity. We think the global economy has been heading in this direction for years and like any good business, we're here to capitalize on the economy of doing nothing.

How to start earning: Upgrade to Pro. That's it. You're automatically enrolled the moment you do. No forms, no opt-in, no blood oath (we removed that in beta). Every second of inactivity starts paying off immediately. You were born for this.

Show Me the FuttBux

Fresh FuttBux Merch

The official FuttBux t-shirts are here. You can't spend FuttBux on them yet, but you can buy them with regular government-issued money like some kind of medieval peasant bartering with the king's portrait on a coin. We don't judge. Actually we do, but we'll sell you the shirt anyway.

Merch Me

Stop reading this and go upgrade. This email isn't earning you anything. It's not even entertaining. Okay, maybe a little.

You're welcome,
Team Windscribe

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New Month, New Contest - $42,000 Cash on the Line in Our WAP Fest!

We're Pitting Humans Against Clankers

Your phone alarm blares you awake. Monday, 8AM. You check your texts, another army recruiter. The pedo elites want you in Iran because they're nanoseconds away from having nuclear capabilities for the 50th time in 30 years. Ignore. You go for a walk to grab a coffee. There's a goth baddie working at the counter, a corpo branding psyop for sure, you don't fall for it. You go to pay, card declined. The bank's AI closed your account because you criticized ICE online. Open Klarna, finance the coffee on a 36 month plan. Get home, check your mail. Palantir sent you a Valentine's Day card. "We Flocking Love You!" Go to post it on Reddit. "Birth Certificate Verification Required".

But just as you're about to toss your phone at the wall, you see it. A glimmer of hope. It's this Windscribe email, telling you about The Windscribe Animated Production Fest!

You may remember our WTF Fest from 2020, well we're doing it again, but bigger. This time, we're hosting an animation competition, with an AI twist! It's 2 contests, pitting human art against AI "art" with huge cash prize categories for each one!

$42,000 in Cash Prizes

Both the Human and AI Contest each have their own Prize Pools with category winners also getting Lifetime Windscribe Pro!

• Grand Prize - $10,000 (Humans) and $7,500 (AI)
• Funniest Animation - $2,000 (Humans) and $1,250 (AI)
• Best Character - $2,000 (Humans) and $1,250 (AI)
• Best Style - $2,000 (Humans) and $1,250 (AI)
• Best Vibes - $2,000 (Humans) and $1,250 (AI)
• Best Story - $2,000 (Humans) and $1,250 (AI)
• Best Sound - $2,000 (Humans) and $1,250 (AI)
• 10 x $300 (Human) and 10 x $200 (AI) Prizes for Honourable Mentions

AI tools have come so far, and there's a lot of smack talk online from both sides about who is better, AI or humans. Are you an animator who despises AI "art"? Well now's your chance to prove it. Are you a techbro fully on the AI train? Let's see if it can compete with real humans. We are here to settle the debate, with cash and Lifetime Windscribe Pro on the line.

How to Enter

• Pick topic: Open the Windscribe app and select any two location nicknames.
• Animate: Make a 30-60 second animation using your chosen nicknames. Either do it all by hand, or use any AI tools you want.
• Submit Animation: You can go for the human contest prizes or compete with the AI submissions.

You can submit as many animations as you want, we really do want to see what you folks can come up with. The contest ends on March 26th, 2026 at 11:59PM EST.

We won't bore you with details here so click the button below for all the rules, prizes, animation guidelines, etc.

WAP Fest Details Here

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Lifetime Pro, PS5, Switch 2, Steam Deck and more in our BIGGEST GIVEAWAY EVER!

HUUUGE WINDSCRIBE GIVEAWAY

Well folks, we did it. We made it to the end of this year and quarter century! Give yourself a pat on the back and grab a cookie as a little treat... So are you going to share that cookie or what? We're waiting... No? Good! You're learning, don't share cookies with third parties! We've taught you well.

Speaking of sharing, this year, we've decided to give back to all of you with our biggest giveaway ever. Tell Santa to sit this one out because Lifetime Pro is only just scratching the surface - we've got so much more that Blackrock is desperately knocking on our door trying to get a slice of this pie.

Giveaway Prizes

If we hit all our goals, here's what's up for grabs in the giveaway:

• 56 x Lifetime Pro Vouchers
• 24 x Windscribe Merch Vouchers
• 4 x Nvidia Shield Pro 4k
• 4 x ASUS Mechanical Keyboard + G502 X Mouse Combo
• 4 x PlayStation 5
• 4 x Steam Deck
• 4 x Switch 2 + Mario Kart World Bundle
• 5 x Samsung Galaxy S25 Phone

Quite the holiday haul! But what does "hitting our goals" mean? Well, we've been hard at work growing our social media presence this year, proudly posting hand-made content for the masses and while the growth has been great so far, we're greedy and would like even bigger numbers on our channels - that's where you come in!

4 Ways to Enter

We're running 4 parallel giveaways on 4 platforms. Enter any/all of them for up to 4 chances to win!

• TikTok: Follow us + Like & Comment on the pinned giveaway video.
• Instagram: Follow us + Like & Comment on the pinned giveaway reel.
• YouTube: Subscribe + Like & Comment on the giveaway short.
• X/Twitter: Follow us + Like and Reply to the pinned giveaway post.
• Share: The more followers we get, the more prizes unlock!

Note: A Windscribe account is required to participate.

Bonus X Giveaway!

We're also giving away a Samsung Galaxy S25 in a special giveaway on X. Just reply to the X giveaway post with a screenshot of you shilling our service somewhere (comment anywhere, social post, meme, forum post, etc) and you'll be entered into the draw!

Enter X Giveaway

Oh, and we'll be dropping a 1 Year Pro code on our Instagram and TikTok stories each day until the end of the giveaway period.

All giveaways end on January 4th at 11:59PM EST so you've got plenty of time to click or tap a few buttons!

We won't bore you with the details here so click below for all the key info about the giveaways.

Giveaway Details Here

And with that, we'll wrap up this email and 2025. Times are changing, many governments and corporations are trying to push for privacy-eroding laws and we're standing by you to protect your online rights. But it wouldn't be possible without your support. Thank you for sticking with us and trusting us.

Happy Holidays and Happy New Year,

The Windscribe Team

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LAST CHANCE FOR $29 PRO!

LAST CHANCE BABIES!

GIVE ME PRO FOR $29

Fuchsia Friday deal lives on, you beautiful babies! It's your last chance to get Windscribe Pro for cheap. How cheap? Almost as cheap as bribing a politician! For only $29 a year , you can get all the succulent features that Pro offers. We're talking ALL the servers, ALL the speed, ALL the bandwidth, ALL the bragging rights. We know what you're thinking... "Finally! A deal that doesn't suck more than Trump at an Epstein party!" Hurry, the sale ends Dec. 8th!!

Don't Miss Out!

Why do you need Pro? Because according to the Peter Thiel Cyber Institute of Taking Over the World While Looking Like a Corpse, corporations and governments should use your browsing info against you! Algorithms should target your vulnerable buttcheeks at every turn! Don't let Petey win! Escape the psyop - protect your privacy and your mind, and save big cyber bucks while doing it!

• Access all locations - 69+ countries and 134+ cities
• Unlimited Data - Stream it all. Yes, everything.
• P2P, IP Pinning and more - All the succulent features, just for you!

Upgrade Now for $29!

It's a deal so fat, JD Vance's face is jealous of it! And it's the last time this cyber year that you'll be able to get Windscribe Pro this cyber cheap! We haven't even used inflation as an excuse to gouge you like every other company out there! Pro for $29 a year is peanuts! In fact, it costs less than actual peanuts!

Big fat juicy smooches!
Team Windscribe

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Fuchsia Friday: Biggest Sale of the Fuchsing Year!

FUCHS PAYING FULL PRICE!

$29 PRO?! GIVE ME NOW!

Once upon a time, Black Friday required you to wake up at 4am to the slow hum of air filters cleaning your room of turkey farts, and the soft beeping of your in-laws' glucose monitors in adjacent rooms as they battle diabetes from the previous night's dessert course. Bloated and hungover, you'd drag your buttcheeks to the mall and wait in lineups for longer than the Epstein List, just to stomp over people to get 50% off of a Sega Dreamcast. You had a purpose. You had a mission. You had a Dreamcast.

Those days are over, so we invented Fuchsia Friday, a lazier and easier way to get a fat deal! While fascism is all about taking away, Fuchsism is all about giving back... This Fuchsia Friday we've slashed Windscribe Pro prices lower than the global replacement level fertility rate! Get Pro for only $29 smackarooski doodledooskis per year - with all of our fastest servers, unlimited bandwidth, P2P, insane speed improvements and the ability to lord over free users with your nose up, how Parisian!

It's Time To Fuchsing Upgrade!

It's the best sale of the year, c'mon, $29 buckerooskies, FOREVER?! In this economy?! It's so cheap we're losing money on this deal! How are we handling that? Easy! No year-end bonuses for our employees! That's right! Once Christmas rolls around, their children will be getting lumps of coal as presents! Coal demand will skyrocket! American coal mines will re-open! The American economy will boom! Americans will finally be able to comfortably eat Arby's Beef N' Cheddar sandwiches while sitting on their toilets... again! Ammmeee-hehe-ricaaaaa!

• Access all locations - 69+ countries and 134+ cities
• Unlimited Data - Stream it all. Yes, everything.
• P2P, IP Pinning and more - All the succulent features, just for you!

Upgrade Now for $29!

All jokes aside, we're very thankful to all of our users, though slightly more for Pro users because beef jerky and fiber supplements aren't free - and it's all we provide our staff for sustenance. Hard stools & great security tools - that's the Windscribe motto. It isn't. Not sure why we said that. Anyways, thanks for using Windscribe, it means a heck of a lot to all of us here.

Love, peace, and turkey grease!
Team Windscribe

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