Happy Cana'murica Day!
Find our emails too long? Skip the foreplay and see the deal below, but you should still read the rest, we spend a lot of time on these emails.
2 Years of Windscribe ProFor $69.00 smackaroos!
Today is a very special day… it's Cana'murica Day, a celebration of the founding of both the USA and Canada. The USA, of course, was founded in 1774 when Captain America fought the British for the right to drive a Chevy Cruze while eating Arby's sandwiches and drinking discount Slurpees. At least that's what the Florida school board taught us. They also told us that Canada was founded by Lord Gerald Canada, used horse salesman and mediocre row boat engineer, who just wanted to - and we quote - "find a place to hang out with his tits out, and yell at beavers for stealing trees." Who knew that Florida could make history so much fun?
Last year, Windscribe celebrated Cana'murica Day by commissioning the creation of the Meagle, a combination of the mighty Canadian moose and the wise American eagle. This year our Meagle started getting depressed at how unwise and unmighty our respective countries have become, so we decided to give it a friend with the strength of a bear and the teeth and tail of an enterprising beaver… the Bearver. Together, this dynamic duo fights for the freedom of both our nations and the world at large. Freedom from the suppression of information, freedom from governments spying on us, and freedom from gas costing more than champagne. Sure, they failed at the last one, but gas tastes better anyways.
A toast to 2022!
This Cana'murica Day, the Meagle and Bearver are bringing you freedom at a discount - TWO WHOLE YEARS of Windscribe Pro for only $69 bucks. That's over 700 days of ad-less internet privacy for less than the cost of a shot of gas! Who knows if we'll ever be able to offer you this price again? We haven't changed our prices in... like ever, and with the way things are going in the world, money could be worth nothing and the world could convert to a ramen packet based economy like in prison!
While you are contemplating the greatest purchase of your life, don't forget to check out the Windscribbles blog too! It has a ton of hilarious and informative articles for your perusal. Reading make your brain hurt? Then our YouTube channel is the place for you.
With Love, Team Windscribe
Random Fact
"To produce a single pound of honey, a single bee would have to visit 2 million flowers."
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