Windscribe Pro For $39! ...but you should still read the rest, we put a lot of effort into these things.
The holiday season is back, baby! People are celebrating all kinds of things, Chanukah, Christmas, Kwanzaa, the ascension of the flying spaghetti monster… heck, there's probably even someone that just woke up from a Percocet coma celebrating Halloween somewhere (probably in America). Each one of these celebrations have rich histories and traditions that have been passed down for generations.
It's a celebration!
Take Christmas, for example. If we are to believe TikTok historians, Christmas wasn't a holiday at all. It was actually spelled ChristMass, and was a supplement for ancient bodybuilders that Jesus sold to his YouTube followers after watching too many Gary Vaynerchuck videos. This only further solidifies the fact that one cannot trust Tik Tok for anything except sending intimate user data to China and making people dumber than rocks. Seriously, stop using TikTok.
Just sell protein to Romans! Hustle mode!
In Scriberia, Windscribe's native land, we have our own celebration: Scribemas. It's like a combination of Christmas, Chanukah, and Kwanzaa - basically we all get together, sing songs and forgive each other for our trespasses - but instead of lighting 9 candles on a menorah, we each eat 9 servings of cheese fondue and yell at the weather for being cold and stupid. The harmony is palpable, even the scribemeece (plural for scribemoose) and the scribewolves get along. The best part, though, are the gifts.
Get Windscribe Pro! Fondue it! We dare you...
This Scribemas is no different. We want to give you all a gift. The gift of online privacy at a steep discount. The gift of never seeing a stupid online ad ever again. The gift of never being tracked by Jeff Bezos. For only $39 dollars, you can have it all with Windscribe Pro. That's right, pay us some money and get exactly 12 months of premium service. Renews at the same price you will pay now, no tricks, no multi-year deals, no "free months", no BS.
So kids, if you are reading this, don't buy your wonderful mom another Mama Bear mug, or a misspelled Live Laff Love painting, get her the gift of privacy with Windscribe Pro instead! Maybe your hard working dad doesn't want socks, but the ability to look at switchblades on AliBaba without getting arrested. And parents, instead of buying your kids a PlayStation 5, keep them modest by giving them a year of VPN access instead! That'll teach lil' Timmy and Debby to work harder next year!
All insane email jokes aside, we wish each and every one of you, your families and friends, safe and happy holidays. Remember, it doesn't matter what you celebrate, as long as you take the time to celebrate with the people you love (even if it is just yourself). The world seems focused on keeping everyone upset with one another, and we say screw that moosepoop nonsense! Fight back by being kind and understanding, and get rowdy and feast with one another. We are all human, after all.
Lots of love, and unlimited good wishes,
Team Windscribe
Random Fact
"You'll eat more than 35,000 cookies in your lifetime (probably)."
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