Windscribe Pro For $39! ...but you should still read the rest, we put a lot of effort into these things.
Love is a lot like freedom. It can be hard to find; people go to war over it; and if you have too much of it, you can go crazy. But unlike love, freedom never sleeps with your best friend and then lies about it for 4 months while you pay the rent. So is freedom better than love? It's the age-old question; a question that always pops up on Valentine's day as you choke down your third cinnamon heart while you curse the company that created cinnamon hearts. Seriously, cinnamon hearts suck more than heartbreak. So this year, Windscribe decided to cut the nonsense and just love freedom. Best of both worlds, you get some love, you get some freedom, you keep your rent money… perfection.
But unlike us, you should still get your significant a present! That's where we come in. Windscribe Pro makes for a great additional "stocking stuffer" of a Valentine's day present for your lover. If it is the only thing you get your significant other, you are insane and they will leave you. But if you add it to some lovely flowers, chocolate, or a fat steak, your lover will look deep into your eyes and sensuously whisper, "thank you for protecting my online identity." That's amore, right there — pure, uncut love.
For those of you who don't have love in your life yet, you could always do a voodoo ritual to ensure you find the love of your life. Here's how: 1) Take a shower, so you smell nice. 2) Buy Windscribe Pro. 3) Get a dog. We can hear your brain trying to figure out if this will work… and we assure you it most definitely will. Your love of online privacy may land you a fine lookin' network administrator or the shower+dog combo could land you a fine somethin' somethin' because it shows you are clean and responsible.
A real reaction to receiving Windscribe Pro
Since we know most of you will already be spending a lot of money on chardonnay and candles, we couldn't, in good conscience, charge you full price for the ultimate Valentine's gift add-on. It would be uncivilized. So prepare yourself for a sick deal… Just $39 shmackaroos for a whole year of Windscribe goodness. It's a deal so good it'll make you pop faster than a Chinese spy balloon. Except the whole world won't be watching you on TV while you do. We… hope?
Still reading, and can't afford Windscribe Pro? Follow us on Twitter and make us laugh. We'll choose 10 random people who do, and furnish them with a FREE Windscribe Pro subscription within 1 week of this email.
Happy Valentines Day you beauties,
Lots of love and smooches,
Team Windscribe
Random Fact
"Banging your head against a wall burns 150 calories an hour."
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