But Not Literally
At Windscribe we do not bleed. In fact, it is the first requirement that we have in our hiring process. Our employees are strongly encouraged not to require blood to survive. "But if none of you have the capacity to form or use blood, how do you survive?", we hear you asking. The answer is simple! We feed on conversions. Every time one of our free users converts to Windscribe Pro, they become happier. We distill their happiness into liquid form using a patent pending device (a moonshine still with an old Blackberry taped to it). We then lovingly pour it into baby bottles and feed it to our employees as if they were baby pandas.
Actual footage
There. Now you know our secret. That being said, we really hope you enjoyed your holidays: the long family dinners; the drunk uncle that talked about carbs being evil for three hours because he heard it on the Joe Rogan podcast; the deafening sound of your insides screaming at you for eating 3 pounds of mashed potatoes.
Sometimes the carbs look back
This New Year, treat yourself to the delectable flavors of Windscribe Pro: the taste of unlimited bandwidth; the warm embrace of multiple servers to connect to; the savours of ROBERT… thaaaat doesn't sound right. But we digress. Get yourself a Pro account for as low as $4.08/month (when you pay us $49 for the whole year) and bathe in all the previously mentioned Windscribe features that also include:
- All WINDFLIX locations to access all your streaming content
- Port forwarding
- Full use of ROBERT
Give Us Happiness 1 Year for $49 ($4.08/month)
Why do we charge $4.08 a month? Why don't we accept hugs as currency? It's simple economics really. You see, hugs cannot be transmitted over the internet, so instead, we accept your money and hire in-house huggers that we pay to hug us for you. Each hug costs $3.63 (these are Pro hugs), leaving us with 45 cents per user per month to spend on the oatmeal, Redbull and gluten free gluten injections that sustain our workforce.
Random Fact
"Judge Judy makes $45 million a year."
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