Wednesday, October 27, 2021

All Treat, No Tricks

Free Feature + Discount


Halloween is a time-honoured tradition in many parts of the world. For those of you that don't celebrate it, allow us to explain: Halloween is an event where you and your loved ones take turns pretending to be discount back-alley plastic surgeons and conduct sick experiments on innocent pumpkins. After you finish Michael Jackson'ing those pumpkins, you get to dress up as something you're not and beg for candy from judgmental strangers. Sometimes they give you full-size chocolate bars, sometimes you get bite-sized pieces of diabetes, and other times your 35 year old new-age dentist neighbour Dr. Schmidt gives you toothpaste like a total dingbat, and you write about it in an email 25 years later. When you finally return home, you still have to defend your pillowcase full of candy from your knife-wielding siblings and helicopter parents. It's basically Lord of the Flies but with chocolate.

Sounds like a lot of work, doesn't it? Well, this year we're making Halloween easy. With Windscribe, you can "dress up" as all kinds of people - all from the comfort of your own home. Feel like spending the day as a Scandinavian that misses the sunlight in winter? Connect to our Sweden servers. Wish you could sound scary even though your language is super cool? Connect to our German servers! Want to take 4 hour mid-day lunch breaks? Our Spain servers are ready and waiting for you. Want to live with your mother well into your 30's so you never have to do your own laundry? Our Italian servers are standing by.

We can't leave you without a treat either, so prepare to get the full-size chocolate bar equivalent of a deal in your goodie bag. We are giving you a year of Windscribe Pro for only $39 shmackaroos. That's literally $24.4 million cheaper than a set of monkey pictures.

Upgrade to Pro For $39/year


...but that's not all.

November is just around the corner, and we wanted to give you something that lasts. You see, every November, there is a certain disciplinary challenge revolving around nuts. Specifically, not having any nuts. This is why squirrels hate it. So for all of November, we are allowing the use of all R.O.B.E.R.T. filters (including Adult Content), for all of our free users to help you stay focused and disciplined. Wink wink.

Stay Disciplined This November

Don't know what R.O.B.E.R.T. is? Mash the button below to learn about what you've been missing your whole life.

Learn about R.O.B.E.R.T.


Random Fact

"You can't hum while holding your nose closed."

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