We're 7 Years Old! Sponsor Us!
Pretend this song is playing while you read the next part
Every year, 7 year olds around the world are suffering. Suffering from being bored because their parents blocked their Roblox account; suffering from stepping on Lego's that they left on the floor; suffering because they ran out of iced tea powder to snort; and suffering because they are a company that desperately wants to reach 69 million users. Today is your chance to heal the pain of at least one of those instances.
Just more users, sir
As many of you know - since it's obviously the most important information that exists on Earth today - Windscribe had its 7 year anniversary last week on 4/20 (hehe). That's right, we turned 7 years old. And with birthdays, come presents. Since we don't collect any of your information, we can't mail you all moose-flavoured chocolates (Canada's biggest export outside of crunchy beaver bars and construction materials for igloos), and so we are giving you Windscribe Pro for $29/year! That's only $2.41666666667 per month. Forever. As long as you renew your membership.
1 Year of Windscribe Pro for $29
Think about it, what would you rather have? Two no-name chocolate bars from a dollar store, or the ability to block ads and tracking for the whole month? A quarter of a Starbucks half-fat-mega-muncho-frappuccinsky, or the ability to connect to a server in Sweden and pretend you are Swedish while you browse YouTube? Little known fact about being Swedish: it's pretty sweet, and your ability to eat salted licorice without wanting to die increases 100%. Exactly. You want what we've got, and we want you to have it for CHEAP! For less than the cost of a toothbrush before inflation, you can make a 7 year old's dreams come true.
You best hurry though, the $29/year deal only lasts until 4:20AM Eastern Standard Time on May 1st. After that, we are going back to our regular price of $69/year. So get Windscribe Pro now and save $40, protect yourself online, make some dreams come true, and use the $40 you save to buy dollar store chocolate bars! That's a win, win, right there. Technically, it is more like a win, win, win. Windscribe.
Love,
Team Windscribe
Random Fact
"You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching television."
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