Too busy to read (or illiterate)? No problem, just click the links below to buy us a birthday gift.
Ultimate Windversary Deal
Pro for $29 Per Year (Rebills)
... or this "big brain" offer
Windscribe has turned 8 years old!
Some anniversaries suck. Like when men turn 35 and have to go to the doctor to make sure no one is living in their butts without paying rent. They call it a prostate exam, but we all know what doctor's are really checking for: stowaways. Some anniversaries are great, like when your baby turns 1 and you can finally teach them how to pick pockets so you can afford an Apple Vision Pro. Or, even better, when a privacy company celebrates its 8th birthday. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why we are here today: Windscribe has turned 96 months old! Now we can legally buy cigarettes in Albania! We're also old enough to build Apple Vision Pros in Apple factories!
Sadly, no one has invented teleportation yet, or we would invite all 71 million Windscribe users to our 8th anniversary party. Feasts of roast goose, pools of champagne, rare golden shrimp caviar, leopard karaoke, luxurious limousines made out of Bentleys taped to Maybachs, and all kinds of other treats that may or may not exist. Beyoncé may even be there yelling at "the help" (her words, not ours). But nooooo, scientists are too busy inventing new weight loss drugs, so no teleportation for us.
So we're doing the next best thing... giving you all a delicious offer for Windscribe Pro: Just $29 a year or $420 for 69 months of access to 130+ server locations in over 69 countries, unlimited bandwidth, and the chance to impress a very small number of people who get impressed by Pro memberships to privacy software. Trust us, they're out there.
Double the Reefer(als)
We're also doing x2 times the referral rewards for 30 days! Simply use our Refer a Friend to claim your 2GB per referral.
Pass the Reefer(al) to a friend!
But enough horsin' around, you all want to know what we've been up to, so here are some juicy updates:
- We've got 8 new 10Gbps server locations, and plenty more coming!
- We now have the largest physical server network on the market - clouds are for birds!
- All our servers operate from diskless servers, entirely from RAM
- We've created a Telegram channel for people stuck in censored regions
There are way too many updates to include here (we'll send you a separate email for that), and it is 4/20 so many of you may be too baked to read and prefer to giggle. Got you covered! Check out our latest hilarious April Fools video that convinced so many people we were banning jokes that we literally got complaints! Stop hilarity at Windscribe? Never! Keep an eye on our Windscribbles blog and Twitter as well - more hijinks, laughs, learnings and thoughts. We LOVE hearing from you - after all without you none of this would be possible.
We wanted to thank every single one of you for using Windscribe and supporting us over the last 8 years. It continues to be a great honor to serve your privacy needs. And also to our staff, who work tirelessly to maintain and develop the service that millions of you use every day.
Love, peace, and chicken grease!
Team Windscribe
Random Fact
"For every non-porn webpage, there are five porn pages."
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