It's over
2020, or as we like to call it the Year Formerly Known as Jerkface, has been an epic rollercoaster ride through an open sewage pit. It was almost worse than having to watch all the Transformers movies back to back. Almost. Let's be honest, many of us spent the majority of 2020 inside our homes, slowly losing our marbles while moisturizing with Lysol. Was there crying involved? You bet there was, that stuff stings. But there were even more non-Lysol related tears shed by the billions of people around the world directly affected by events in 2020. And to all of those people, we send nothing but love, strength and wishes of peace and happiness.
So long, never come back
We have a made-up saying in Canada: "When life gives you lemons, you cut those lemons up and squirt them right into life's eyes. Then you steal life's wallet. Then you buy shoes. The normal kind, not snowshoes." So go ahead, grab that juicy lemon and squeeze it right into the eyeballs of 2020. Then stretch out your little toesies, slide on your newly acquired dancing shoes, and let's joyfully tap dance on top of what remains of 2020! Nothing beats celebrations born from spite! Except celebrations that come with discounts... of course. Didn't see that segue coming, did you?
2021 seems nice
The discounts are pretty self explanatory. It's end of the year, and we have to clear stock of these dusty old 2020 subscriptions before 2021 starts, so we're letting them fo for pennies on the dollar! Everything must go! Help us clear out a totally made up and non-existent warehouse of these Pro subscriptions, so we could make room for 2021 inventory, which will naturally be more expensive. Profit from our poor logistics skills and save $19.
Get the Deal $29.99 for 1 Year of service
Random Fact
"Cockroaches can live for several weeks with their heads cut off, because their brains are located inside their body. They would eventually die from being unable to eat."
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